APRIL THEME: COMMON HUMANITY

Every single one of us has a STORY. Not one of us is spared life's challenges - after all - that's LIFE! And ... I don't need to remind you that life can be HARD.

Many times our caregiver stories are "invisible" - just like the invisible illnesses many of our loved ones face.

Life is filled with moments of joy AND ordinary AND pain. In my most tender moments supporting loved ones (or myself) through immense physical or emotional pain, I've shared my thoughts on how we might navigate our one and precious life. We were never promised a life of only the “good” emotions - like joy and happiness - life comes with the good AND bad - a full spectrum of experiences.

How often do you find yourself asking "why ME?" I've been known to say this and "enough is enough" - how much pain can one person endure?

Sometimes, life feels unfair.

But as you navigate your story - your journey of life - remember, you are NEVER alone. Never alone in your joy OR your pain. We're on this caregiver journey TOGETHER. 

When I founded Courage to Caregivers - it was a passion project. After losing our brother to suicide, my sisters and I knew NO ONE should take this journey - of providing care to someone they love living with mental illness - ALONE. We had felt so very alone all those years providing mental and emotional support for our brother. Just like he did. Yet, we were facing this together. 

Over the years, talking with people, hearing their stories, holding their hands on their journey of pain - whether it be grief, loss of any kind, chronic pain, physical pain, emotional pain, isolation, or loneliness - it can feel hard and overwhelming. One of the things I've learned is ... people want to know they aren't ALONE. We work to validate each caregiver's experience and affirm and normalize their feelings. Allowing each caregiver to feel seen, heard, and understood. 

“The very definition of being 'human' means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.” ~ Kristin Neff

Walking hand in hand with someone else is one of our greatest gifts to each other. Common humanity = you are NEVER alone.

“When we’re in touch with our common humanity, we remember that feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are shared by all.”~ Kristin Neff

COMMON HUMANITY AFFIRMATIONS
Use affirmations to inspire you or reframe your thoughts

• My empathy allows me to be in solidarity with others

• I am strong when I recognize I need support

• Connection allows me to share and listen with others

• I recognize the common humanity I have with all around me

APPS FOR COMMON HUMANITY

• 7 Cups - This app allows you to chat with trained volunteers for free emotional support. They also have self-help and online therapy resources.

• Untangle - This app allows you to connect with other people experiencing loss and grief and build community. They also have a range of workshops that relate to wellness and financial planning.

• Nextdoor - This app allows you to connect to other people in your neighborhood and learn more about what is happening in your surrounding communities.

• Daily Haloha - This app allows you to connect anonymously with others through answering reflection questions and recognizing how we’re all here together.

ARTICLES

• What is Empathy? - This VeryWellMind article provides basic information of the different kinds of empathy we have and how we can build bridges with others through empathy.

• Grief and Loss - This Family Caregiver Alliance article delves into the different kinds of grief and loss that may show up in caregiving experiences.

• 5 Ways to Fight Back Against Caregiver Loneliness - This Guideposts article provides tips for how to combat loneliness as a caregiver.

• Eight Keys to Bridging Our Differences - This Greater Good Magazine article describes how we can recognize our common humanity and make connections with people who are different from us.

PODCASTS 

• Building Bridges through Food - This podcast episode explores Vivian Acquah’s journey in finding connection to her Dutch and Ghanaian identities through food.

• Caregiving for a Parent - This podcast episode interviews Priya Soni about her experience caregiving for her parents and how she started a network for adult children caregivers.

• Loneliness and Isolation -This episode delves into a caregiver’s experience with loneliness and isolation and how she copes.

• Happiness Break: Wishing Others Well, With Anushka Fernandopulle - This eight-minute episode explores the Buddhist concept of Metta and how we can find calm by wishing others well.

BOOKS

• Together: The Healing Power of a Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World - Told with great compassion and hope, Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a powerful and convincing argument for why we can and must build a more connected world. 
• Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey Cohen - Belonging is the feeling of being a part of a group that values, respects, and cares for us—a feeling that we can all cultivate in even the smallest corners of social life. 
• Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief - Grief Expert David Kessler breaks new ground by going beyond the classic five stages of grief and adding a sixth stage: meaning. 

• How We Fight for Our Lives - This short memoir by Saeed Jones delves into the author’s experience growing up as a Southern black, gay man and his challenges with finding identity.

• Wave - This memoir by Sonali Deraniyagala explores the author’s grief after losing her parents, husband, and sons in a 2004 tsunami. 

• Happier at Home - This book by Gretchen Rubin examines how we can feel homesick and alone within our own homes and what we can do about it.

APRIL IS STRESS AWARENESS MONTH

"Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you."

~ Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski,

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle 

At Courage to Caregivers, we recognized early on that we can’t REMOVE the stress of caregiving - no matter how much we WISH we could. YET, we CAN empower caregivers to better cope and manage the stress of caregiving. That's because, for caregivers, much is out of our control, but COPING with that stress IS 100% within our control. 

Good news - Dr. Elissa Epel has published a new book - "The Stress Prescription." Dr. Epel is the source of an eye-opening statistic that we cite very often: stress has been found to take 10 years off of a caregiver’s life. The book was so transformative that we created a 7 Day Stress Management Challenge - available in its entirety on our social media channels.    

Day 1: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY

• Focus on your breath and meditation - don't forget our breathing meditations are recorded weekly and uploaded to our YouTube channel here!
• Mindfulness - there are many ways to practice mindfulness - be present.
• Embrace your thoughts and feelings - there are no “good” or “bad” feelings - it’s essential to process your thoughts and feel all the feels. 
• Journal - the benefits of writing down your thoughts and feelings are vast. 
• Hold space - for YOU and for your loved one. 

Day 2: LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL

• We realize that much is OUT of our control, but there is also much that IS in our control: our attitude, the way we respond to others, how we treat others, how we feel, our decisions and thoughts, setting boundaries, self-care - self-talk and self-compassion.

Day 3: FIND EXCITEMENT IN CHALLENGES

• REFRAME challenges as opportunities for growth;

• EMBRACE A GROWTH MINDSET - we're a perpetual perfectly imperfect work in progress;

• KEEP AN OPEN MIND - look for opportunities and possibilities.

Day 4: METABOLIZE BODY STRESS

• Eat well - stay hydrated - sleep well - consider cold/heat immersion - high intensity workouts.

Day 5: IMMERSE YOURSELF IN NATURE

• Get out in the fresh air and go for a walk.

• Find yourself a “wild” nature space.

• Eat a meal outside.

• Take a mindfulness hike - use all five of your senses.

• Take in the awe and wonder of a sunrise or a sunset.

• Identify birds, trees, or flowers. 

• Head to the park with a book and a picnic.

• Take a photograph, make a doodle or sketch of something you see in nature.

Day 6: EXPERIENCE DEEP REST

• Sleep - unplug - carve out alone time - more breathing meditation - do something “unproductive” - give yourself “permission” to take a break.

Day 7: CREATE BLISS BOOKENDS

• In the morning - set an intention for your day - take time to sip a hot beverage while it’s hot.

• In the evening - journal, meditate, read - make a gratitude practice - find ways to make your bedroom a sanctuary. 

Everyone appreciates being appreciated! Show your appreciation for a volunteer or team member via the volunteer appreciation form on our website.

We 💙 Our Volunteers!

YOU are the heart and soul

of Courage to Caregivers!

This week was National Volunteer Week! We are SO appreciative of our 39 volunteers and ALL they do to keep Courage to Caregivers running smoothly. Quite simply, we couldn't do our important work of preventing caregiver burnout without our volunteers! Thank you for bringing YOU and for being empathy in action in all you do!

In 2023 - 9 Board members, 12 additional Committees of the Board members, 24 Peer Support Volunteers, 3 Group Coaching Support Volunteers, 1 remarkable Editor, 7 undergraduate interns, and 4 graduate interns donated a total of 5,741 hours! Thank you!

We NEED You 🤲

We are at a critical juncture in our organization's journey of providing support to unpaid caregivers of those living with mental illness. We have immediate needs for Peer Support and Committee Volunteers:

1. Join a Committee! Fill out our Volunteer Interest Form here.
2. We currently have a waiting list for peer support - and need YOUR help! Training is provided. Click here for more information and to register to volunteer.

May’s theme is GROWTH MINDSET, and we will focus on staying curious, thinking in extremes, redefining guilt and shame, and recommit don't quit. As we continue on the journey of discovering our true selves, setting micro-goals will guide us. With micro-goals, it’s easier to take the next right step - as Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.” Check out May's Micro-Challenges Calendar here.

Courage to Caregivers Breathing Practice for May: Bellows Breath

As we support caregivers to make breathing and meditation a practice, we're pleased to share our Breathing Meditation Facilitator Cathy and her monthly breathing practice how-to videos. You can join us for May's Breathing Practice: Bellows Breath.  With this practice, we can support our digestive system and bring ourselves to an inner state of calm during stressful moments. As a note, if you have glaucoma or have just recently had eye surgery, or if you have uncontrolled high blood pressure, that is to say, high blood pressure not controlled with medication, you should sit this exercise out. You can watch May's instructional video for Bellows Breath here, and remember to subscribe to our 2024 Monthly Breathing Practices playlist to stay updated each month. You can also subscribe to our Breathing Meditation playlist, where we upload our weekly breathing meditation recordings, and follow along on our Spotify Breathing Meditation playlist.

The mission of Courage to Caregivers is to provide hope, support, and courage to caregivers and loved ones of those living with mental illness. We're in the caregiver burnout prevention business!

©2024 Courage to Caregivers, Inc.